It Wasn’t A Life


This poem in being published in the next issue of ‘Current Accounts’ which is a National poetry magazine, along with my poem ‘Maternal Streak’ which can also be found on the ‘My Poetry’ page.


It Wasn’t A Life


Oh excuse me, you never said

Your little girl or boy was dead

The grapevine didn’t work its magic

On news this shatteringly tragic.


So was it a bleed that gave the clue

That this tot wasn’t meant for you?

Or unwanted news at the scan

From some blank faced girl or man?


So stick a needle in my belly

Tell me what I fear already

Show me markers, measure limbs

I can’t take it in.


Don’t talk of how you were checked in

To silent ward all grey and grim

How everything that life’s about

Was unemotionally coaxed out.


No unconscious scrape for you

Adds hurt to what you’re going through

To find some peace, some mental hush

Gird you’re thighs, you’ll have to push!


I held my baby in my palms

Her tiny head, her legs and arms

Her downy brows, translucent skin

I can’t take it in.


Get on with it, stiff upper lip

You’ll have another, the usual quip

You’ll feel better in a day or three

It just wasn’t meant to be.


Don’t cry out loud, don’t shout or grieve

Or wear your heart upon your sleeve

Keep it all behind closed doors

A tragedy that’s just all yours.


No pay phone was brought to my bed

You don’t phone home to say she’s dead.

To speak of it would be a sin

I can’t take it in.


I can’t register her death

It wasn’t life you see

The baby was under 24 weeks…


4 Responses to “It Wasn’t A Life”

  1. 😦 wish I could hear. I have my sound turned up, but it may be a problem on my end.

  2. […] in the national poetry quarterly ‘Current Accounts’.  The two poems are ‘It Wasn’t A Life’ and ‘Maternal Streak‘ which are both on my ‘My Poetry’ page.  Very pleased […]

  3. sarah hollingbery Says:

    a fitting tribute xx

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